Annelise Miller, MS, LMFT
3468 Mt. Diablo Blvd.Suite B200,
Lafayette, CA 94549​
The Cost of Emotional Avoidance
Compartmentalizing works in your career, but it backfires at home. Signs you might be avoiding emotions:
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Changing the subject when conversations get "too deep"
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Reacting with anger when faced with minor inconveniences
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Becoming defensive quickly
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Feeling overwhelmed when your partner wants to "talk about feelings"
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Using work or activities to escape emotional conversations
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Getting accused of being "checked out" even when you're present
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Depression, loss of interest in people or activities
Emotional avoidance isn't a character flaw—it's a learned survival strategy that may now be creating distance in your relationships.
Approach
I specialize in helping men overcome emotional avoidance that's damaging their relationships with partners, family, and friends, using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to guide them toward authentic emotional expression. Through values clarification work, my clients discover clear paths forward and naturally develop meaningful goals that strengthen their most important connections.
Emotional Skills
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Recognizing emotional triggers before they derail conversations
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Staying engaged during difficult discussions
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Expressing needs and boundaries clearly
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Building genuine intimacy without losing yourself
Values-Based Living
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Discover what kind of partner, father, or friend you want to be
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Align daily actions with deeper values
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Make decisions that strengthen relationships
Issues I Help Men Navigate
Relationship Challenges: Partner complaints about emotional unavailability, difficulty with intimacy, recurring arguments, balancing independence with connection
Life Transitions: Mid-life questioning, work-life balance struggles, career changes, stress-management, becoming the father you want to be
Personal Growth: Managing anger and frustration, overcoming perfectionism, building meaningful friendships
Addiction: Substance use has become a way to cope with disconnection from the people who matter most, helping you rebuild relationships and develop healthier ways to manage difficult emotions.
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Why Men Choose to Work With Me
I understand the unique pressures of living in Lafayette: high-pressure careers, long commutes, financial stress, and community expectations. My approach acknowledges your natural strengths while helping you develop new skills. No judgment about being "too analytical" or pressure to become someone you're not.
Frequently Asked Questions
"Isn't therapy just for people who are really struggling?"
Therapy is for people who want to improve their lives. It's about optimization, not fixing something broken.
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"How long does this take?"
Most men see significant relationship improvements within 3-6 months. After that, clients can choose to take a break from therapy or meet less frequently.
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"Will you tell me I need to be more emotional?"
No. I'll help you develop emotional skills while staying true to who you are.
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"What if I don't know my values?"
That's exactly what we'll discover together. Values clarification is often the most transformative part of our work.
Getting Started
Ready to build stronger relationships? If you're tired of feeling disconnected or ready to develop emotional skills that enhance every area of your life, let's work together.
Annelise Miller, LMFT specializes in helping men overcome emotional avoidance and build authentic relationships using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Lafayette, California.